


Hey, good lookin' (whatcha got cookin'?)

by secretflame



Series: Sober Universe [2]
Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, it's just cute okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretflame/pseuds/secretflame
Summary: Making a nice home-cooked meal for Tori's parents was supposed to be simple. A few slices of tomatoes here, some chicken there, maybe a nice caprese salad if they had time for it.But nothing is ever simple when it comes to Tori and Jade, is it?
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Series: Sober Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710430
Comments: 5
Kudos: 93





	Hey, good lookin' (whatcha got cookin'?)

**Author's Note:**

> This is technically part of the Sober universe, but it can absolutely work as a one-shot too, so don't get worried if you haven't read Sober yet! (Though you should definitely go read that, too!)  
> Also this is literally just pure fluff because let's be real, the world is on fire and we could probably all use a bit of a palette-cleanser. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Tell me again why we're doing this?”

Tori paused mid-slice and shot me a look from across the kitchen.“Because I want to break the news gently and this is their favorite meal, so can you please just chop the tomatoes without complaining?”

I shrugged and wandered over to the Vega's knife block. I let my fingers trail over the handles, knowing Tori was watching me closely. “As you wish, _dear_.” I clasped my hand around the handle of a chef's knife and drew it out from the block with a sharp pull, grinning when I heard a sharp intake of breath from behind me.

“Jade, be careful! That's...”

“Sharp? Dangerous? Super attractive?” I turned and waggled my eyebrows at my girlfriend, who at that point looked like she was going to combust. “Sorry, what were we talking about, again? I got distracted naming adjectives about myself.”

“Why are you like this?” she asked, a familiar frown on her face that only made my grin grow wider.

“Because you love it.” I took a closer look at the knife in my hand, watching the way the light caught the blade. “And because I'm pretty sure that your family is going to be fine with us, so we don't have to worry about making this fancy-ass dinner for them.”

“Jade, _please_.” Tori set down her knife and jutted out her lower lip in a pout that she knew wouldn't actually work on me. “This is supposed to be a special night.”

“Mhm,” I hummed, walking towards her. Her eyes widened as I grew near, darting towards the knife in a way that I knew I wasn't supposed to notice, but Tori was never very good at being discrete. I rolled my eyes and set the knife down on the counter next to her before I placed my hands on her hips so that I could pull her closer to me. “Has anyone ever told you that you worry _way_ too much, Vega?”

She looked up at me, bottom lip caught between her teeth for just a moment. “I just want this to go well. Is that too much to ask for?”

“Of course not,” I said, leaning in to press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling back to look at her again. “But seriously, you can chill out just a tiny bit, babe. I don't think your parents will love you any less if you burn the sauce or anything.” I paused and sniffed the air, taking in the acrid smell of charred tomato. “Which, uh, might actually be burning.”

“What?!” Tori tore away from me, rushing over to the stove. She lifted the lid off of the pot of tomato sauce and reached for a wooden spoon that she had left on the counter. “No, no, no! Come on, baby, don't burn!”

I shook my head, watching her frantically stir the sauce. “Tor, I don't think...”

She whirled around, spoon in hand. I arched an eyebrow as a splash of red flew from the spoon onto the floor, but didn't get to make a wisecrack about it before her eyes were narrowing at me. “Jade West. Go. Chop. The tomatoes. _Now._ ”

I reached back for the knife, picking it up so that I could salute with it. “Sir, yes, sir! Right away, sir! Those tomatoes will be chopped within an inch of their life, sir!”

She continued to glare at me, but she couldn't stop her lips from quirking up in the smallest of grins. “You're such a gank, do you know that?”

“Yeah, but I'm your gank, remember?” I walked around the counter, grabbing the tomatoes as I went. “You want these in slices, right? Not diced?”

“Uh...I think so? They're for the caprese salad, and I'm pretty sure that calls for slices....” She turned back around to face the still-steaming pot on the stove. I took that moment as an opportunity to reach across to Tori's own cutting board, snagging a chunk of mozzarella off of it while she wasn't looking. It was in my mouth just as quickly. “That is right, right? I've never actually made caprese salad before, so...” She twisted the gas off and gave the sauce another good stir before she looked over her shoulder at me, eyes narrowing when she caught me mid-chew. “Jadelyn West, what are you eating?”

I tried to swallow as inconspicuously as possible, but from the way she glared at me, I didn't succeed. “Nothing.”

“Seriously, West?”

“Look, it's not my fault if you left cheese lying around for anyone to take.” I sliced into a tomato, holding up the slice so she could see it. “Now, seriously, is this how you want these sliced, or not?”

“That's fine. Stop eating the cheese.”

I cocked an eyebrow at her and leaned over to snag another piece off of the cutting board. Tori's eyes followed as I popped it into my mouth and chewed over-exaggeratedly.

“That tears it!”

Tori dropped the spoon into the pot and launched herself towards the cutting board. She grabbed it at the same time that I did, but I wasn't expecting her to yank it so strongly and so I found myself having to let go out of risk of being pulled over the counter. As it was, the motion still caused me to pitch forward onto the tomatoes that lay on my own board.

_Squish._

I froze, feeling the cloth of my shirt grow wet over my stomach. I saw Tori's eyes grow wide with horror, and I knew it had to be bad.

“Oh my god,” she said, and I held up a single finger to silence her.

“Vega?”

“Yeah?” she squeaked, letting go of her cutting board so she could clamp a hand over her mouth.

I finally moved, stepping away from the counter so I could take a good look at the damage. I had chosen to wear something other than black because Tori had asked me to. So, instead of the little black dress that I had planned to wear, I had opted for a purple blouse that was now stained crimson and dotted with tiny orange seeds. I stared at it for another moment before looking back up at Tori, who looked back at me with a level of fear in her gaze that I hadn't seen since before we got together.

“I'm covered in tomato.”

“I'm so, so sorry, I...”

She was too busy stammering out apologies to notice that I had reached out for the remains of the tomato. By the time she saw my arm rise and realized what I was about to do, it was too late.

_Splat!_

The tomato hit her square in the chest, exploding across the apron that she had (wisely) put on before we started cooking.

“Jade!”

“Now we're even.” I gripped the hem of my shirt and began to raise it over my head. “Now if you excuse me, I'm going to take this off and try and rinse it out before your parents....”

The cheese hit me on the side of the head before I even managed to get my shirt off. “Hey!”

Tori was already ducking behind the counter. “You started it!”

“Oh, it is _on_ , Vega!”

* * *

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur, if I'm being honest. I do know that once I shook off the shock of being pelted in the head with mozzarella, I launched myself over the counter, armed with the remaining tomatoes and a complete disregard for the Vega's granite countertop. I did make sure that the knives were pointing away from me as I did, though- I'm not _completely_ insane, after all.

I managed to smash the tomato in my right hand against Tori's shoulder before she shoved another chunk of cheese down my shirt. The other tomato slipped from my grasp, and we both threw ourselves towards it, screaming the entire time.

I don't know when the flour came into play, honestly. Hell, I don't even know where Tori pulled the bag _from_ , but I do know that I wasn't expecting to get a face-full of it.

That's okay, though. She wasn't expecting me to grab for the spray-hose attached to the sink, and from the surprise on her face when I started spraying, she _definitely_ wasn't expecting to get wet.

We only stopped our attack when the timer on the stove started beeping.

Tori froze, her hand still raised with another fistful of flour ready to launch. “Oh my god.”

I had already been moving towards her, ready to strike with a well-placed cheese slice, but I skidded to a stop when I heard the beeps. The mozzarella fell from my hand, hitting the floor with an audible plop as I tried to re-balance myself against the counter. “Is the chicken done, then?” I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as one could possibly be with tomato seeds dripping from their hair.

Tori turned to look at me, eyes wild with adrenaline and fear. “I don't know where my oven mitts are.”

“What?”

She opened up her hands, the flour drifting down onto the floor. “I can't get the chicken out of the oven if I don't have oven mitts. And I don't know where they are.”

I stared at her for a long moment, ignoring the timer that continued to beep next to us. “ _That's_ your concern right now?” I gestured around us, my arm sweeping a wide circle. “We totally trashed your kitchen, Vega!”

Her eyes followed my arm's motion, taking in the sight of flour and tomato and cheese that had mixed with the puddle of water on the floor. Hell, we had even managed to get some on the fridge. “Yeah. We sure did, didn't we?”

I was about to respond with something absolutely dripping with sarcasm when her eyes came back up to meet mine and the words died on my lips because she didn't look worried at all. If anything, she looked _happy_.

She started laughing before I did, but it wasn't long before we were both bent over and holding our stomachs as almost-hysterical giggles ripped through us. And then she was grabbing my wrist and pulling me close so that we were standing flush against each other, and her lips were on mine, and I could feel her laughter against my mouth.

“You're soaking wet, Tori,” I grumbled, but I kissed her anyway, fisting a hand loosely in her hair so I could pull her closer.

“Yeah, well, you just have that effect on me,” she joked, and I rolled my eyes before kissing her again. And again.

“Ahem.”

We froze at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind us, lips still pressed tight against the other's. A moment, and then I was pulling away from Tori as quickly as possible and trying to smooth down the front of my shirt. “Uh, hey, Mr. Vega, we were just...”

“Making dinner for you guys!” Tori finished, her voice just a little too breathless to pass for normal.

Tori's dad stared at us for a long moment, a single eyebrow arching up. “Uh...huh...”

“See, we wanted to tell you and mom that...”

“Oh, I think I might have an idea about what you wanted to tell us,” he said, cutting her off, and to be completely honest, I was thankful that he did because Tori had that look in her eye that she only got when she was about to start rambling. My gratitude quickly vanished when his eyes met mine. “Jade, is it?”

“Uh...yes, sir?”

“Remember.” He put a hand on his hip and I could already hear Tori groaning next to me. “I'm a cop.”

I fought the urge to grin and instead nodded grimly. “Got it, Mr. Vega. Don't worry. My intentions are completely pure. No tomfoolery here.”

Tori's elbow jabbed me in the ribs, but Mr. Vega looked satisfied. “Good. Now, would you two clean up...whatever this was supposed to be...and get plates out for dinner? Holly is going to be home soon with the pizza we ordered.”

“Sure thing, Dad,” Tori replied, her voice strained, and I reached out for her hand so I could give it a reassuring squeeze. When I tried to pull it away, though, her fingers entangled with mine and kept me there.

Mr. Vega's eyes darted down towards our hands for just a moment before he sighed and turned away. I could hear him muttering under his breath, but he was too quiet for me to make out any words, which was fine with me because I couldn't imagine that any of them would be particularly pleasant. And then he was climbing up the stairs, leaving us alone in a mess of our own making.

I waited a moment before I started to turn towards her, keeping an attentive ear towards the staircase. “So, that went well! He didn't even-” I finally looked at Tori, and my eyes went wide when I saw just how ridiculous she looked. Her lips were the only part of her face not streaked with flour, and she still had tomato pieces in her hair, and-

“You're so beautiful,” I said, trying to sound as serious as possible because I _meant_ it.

Tori responded by rolling her eyes and using her unoccupied hand to smack me with a dishtowel that she had grabbed off of the counter. “Gank.”

I grinned and leaned forward so I could place a chaste kiss against her lips. “I love you,” I murmured, almost too quiet to hear, but I knew Tori heard me because her hand squeezed mine tighter and she kissed me harder. God, she even _tasted_ like tomato.

“I love you too,” she whispered back.

_Beep._

“Shit! The chicken!”

Tori tore away from me and began rummaging for the oven mitts while I started laughing again. And when Mrs. Vega walked in a few moments later, boxes of pizza balanced precariously in one hand, I was still laughing while her daughter continued to frantically rip apart the kitchen in search for the over mitts that, unbeknownst to her, were right where she had left them: looped over the handle of the oven door.

(I'm sure she'll find them eventually)


End file.
